Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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