Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
