I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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