Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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