i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Text me some of your sweat
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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