there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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