His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
