TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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