He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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