I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize