I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize