come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
