I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
