Got a toothbrush?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
