I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
