So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
