Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
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I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
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you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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