There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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