Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
