she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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