Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
