I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
YAS. BRING CRAB.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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