you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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