Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize