two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think people are normalizing furries
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
