would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
