Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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