I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
