her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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