Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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