Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Sext me about skeletons
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
