Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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