mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My pussy is not your playground.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
