Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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