she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Oh god it's open bar.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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