Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
