i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
