omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
