Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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