If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
