oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
