mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
