He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
