a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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