I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize