I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
