Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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