I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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