Everything about him screamed your future.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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