so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
