Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
