then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
