margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
