Porn is love you can see.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
