your thong is hanging out like whoa
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How naked do you want me to be?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
