You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
