We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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