I think im going to throw up on grandma
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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