I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
