i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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